My boyfriend is depressed
I met Steve when I was at sixth form college and noticed him straight away. It was hard not to: he was tall with blue eyes and had a massive red Mohican. But he was also funny, kind and had a tight-knit group of friends. Shortly after we got together, he told me he had depression and suicidal tendencies. He was taking Prozac.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: 4 THINGS YOU MUST DO IF YOUR MAN SUFFERS FROM DEPRESSION!
21 Questions to Ask When Your Partner Is Depressed
Find out more about cookies and your privacy in our policy. Read about how Sara dealt with the overwhelming experience of helping her depressed boyfriend, and the lessons she learnt in the process. Seeing a loved one go through a hard time always impacts you in some way or another. You watch them hang their head and cry a little, and you pat them awkwardly on the back and tell them it will be okay, because you feel sad for them and want them to be okay.
But you then carry on with your own life. When my boyfriend of two years started to get a bit emotional, I told him it was hormones, or the stress of exams, and I said I would hold his hand whenever he felt sad. One Sunday about a month later, I was sitting at home watching the telly when he called and asked to come over. I'll meet you at the train station. An hour later, when I met him, I wished I had a car.
I practically had to carry him home, as he was sobbing in my arms. I was unbelievably confused. This was my boyfriend, the guy who cuddles me when I cry, and is always tough and strong and manly. Yet, here he was, as small and sad as a lost kitten, crying his eyes out because he had an argument with one of his friends. To me, he was perfect — funny, smart, kind and caring. One of the best people I knew. I tried for weeks to convince him otherwise, but he refused to listen to a word I said.
For a couple of months, things went on like this: every so often, he would break down and come to me for help. I found myself losing concentration at school he was in my year and just watching him to make sure he was okay. Every day he would cry and cry. I would sit with him for hours while he cried, thinking it was weird and that no one else his age got depressed. I got confused and insanely lost. He didn't want anyone else to know he felt like this, so I couldn't tell anyone that my boyfriend is depressed and ask what to do.
All my friends started to get annoyed with me because I hardly saw them anymore, and my mum got scared because she thought there was something really wrong with me.
When a teacher asked me one day what was wrong and how he could help, I realised that my boyfriend's depression was rubbing off on me. I went and spoke to my dad, who is a youth worker, the next day. He told me all about depression and gave me some numbers that my boyfriend could call. Of course, my boyfriend refused to call the counsellor, but it cheered him up a little when I told him about the causes of depression. He started to realise it was quite a normal thing.
Slowly, my boyfriend began to see that it was okay to feel bad sometimes. I eventually talked him into going to see the school counsellor. I had to go with him the first time, but he eventually started to see her alone. Surprisingly, after only a few sessions with her, he seemed to be doing a lot better. Eventually, he managed to get back on track.
With help from his mum, my mum, his closest friends, the school counsellor and from me, he started to return to his old self. Looking back, I can't get over how silly I was not to talk to someone earlier.
I was in no way ready to deal with all that I did. My boyfriend expected me to make things better, when I had no idea where to even begin.
I know that if a friend or family member is depressed, the best thing to do is help them in every way you can, be their friend and hug them a lot, but leave the medical work to the professionals. Try not to let their depression directly affect how you live your own life.
How it all started When my boyfriend of two years started to get a bit emotional, I told him it was hormones, or the stress of exams, and I said I would hold his hand whenever he felt sad. Getting some help All my friends started to get annoyed with me because I hardly saw them anymore, and my mum got scared because she thought there was something really wrong with me. What can I do now? Read more about depression.
Find out about self-care strategies. Learn how to help a friend with depression. Tags Depression Mental health issues Personal story Helping a friend. Related topics Anxiety Suicide Coping.
How to support a partner with depression
Find out more about cookies and your privacy in our policy. Read about how Sara dealt with the overwhelming experience of helping her depressed boyfriend, and the lessons she learnt in the process. Seeing a loved one go through a hard time always impacts you in some way or another.
No one teaches us how to navigate a relationship when mental illness or depression enters the equation. I recently read a Washington Post article by a woman whose relationship was torn apart while she and her partner tried to deal with his depression. Last year when I plunged into a depressive episode during our relationship, my partner was at a loss. He had never dealt with this and wanted so badly to help, but had no idea what to do. Sure we hit bumps along the road, but in the end I felt loved, supported, and understood in a way I never had before during a depressive episode, and he felt like he knew what was going on—a big deal in this situation—and was equipped to deal with it.
When Someone You Love Has Depression
When your partner has depression, it can affect all aspects of your life at once. While depression brings with it feelings of hopelessness, the opportunities for recovery are anything but hopeless. Eventually, it became a regular part of their daily routine. They were spending less and less time together in the evenings as he would disappear into the office on his computer and stay there until long after she went to bed. Every day, she would hope for some interaction and invite him to eat with her or talk or even to watch TV. When she did finally confront him about how his habits were affecting their life together, it only made him angry and he retreated even more. When your partner has depression , you too can get caught up in the cycles of their moods and unexplainable suffering. But you can help by becoming aware of signs of depression in your partner and encouraging them to get the help they need. It is possible for them to rediscover feelings of empowerment, motivation, and true engagement with life. In relationships, we often see more truths about our partners—positives and negatives—than other people see.
Depression in Men
This is a space to ask questions, share experiences and support each other. Find a relevant thread or start your own! Forum membership is open to anyone residing in Australia. My boyfriend is depressed and ended our relationship via text messsge last Thursday while I was overseas. I just returned home.
During Men's Health Week, here's how you can help if a man in your life is suffering with depression and anxiety. But what should you do if your boyfriend or husband is suffering from mental health problems? A key warning sign that your boyfriend is dealing with depression or anxiety is him shutting down communication.
Top 7 Signs to Look For When You Think Your Partner Has Depression, and How to Help
Editor's Note: Every Monday, Lori Gottlieb answers questions from readers about their problems, big and small. Have a question? Email her at dear.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: My Boyfriend's Depression Is Bringing Me Down
Karen S. She no longer enjoyed her favorite activities, preferring to spend weekends sleeping in and watching TV. Their sex life was nonexistent. If you experience five or more symptoms for at least two weeks, you could have clinical depression, also known as major depression. Plus, we asked therapists for their best strategies to help you and your partner survive depression together. Your sex drive tanks.
Your Mental Health Matters
This is a space to ask questions, share experiences and support each other. Find a relevant thread or start your own! Forum membership is open to anyone residing in Australia. He tells me he does not enjoy anything anymore. This week he has missed it but I did do it behind his back. When he told me he was depressed , I guess I didn't understand and told him to think about the things he has. He has a good job, a house and finance who loves him. I told him that to think about ppl that are less fortunate than us who don't even have food on the table.
You love your boyfriend very much, and you want to always be there for him. When he is going through a bout of depression, it isn't always easy to understand what you should do. When someone that you care about is having a tough time, it's normal to want to be able to snap them out of it.
As men, we like to think of ourselves as strong and in control of our emotions. When we feel hopeless or overwhelmed by despair we often deny it or try to cover it up. But depression is a common problem that affects many of us at some point in our lives, not a sign of emotional weakness or a failing of masculinity. It affects millions of men of all ages and backgrounds, as well as those who care about them—spouses, partners, friends, and family.
Many people find themselves supporting a partner with depression at some point in their lives. The support of family and friends can play an important role in the treatment of mental health conditions. Depression is a condition that affects around 16 million adults in the United States each year.
Standing on the sidelines when a partner battles depression can feel like a helpless experience. You might feel confused, frustrated, and overwhelmed. You are not alone. Depression is an isolating illness that can negatively impact relationships and leave loved ones feeling helpless and afraid. The mood in major depression is often described as sad, hopeless, discouraged, or feeling down, but it can also include persistent anger.